gary upton schwartz
Director (2007)

Gary Upton Schwartz has been directing in New York City since 1988.  He has worked with such notable comedy acts as Mary Birdsong (from RENO 911), Premium Bob (co-creator), The New Wondertwins, The Sklar Bros. and Y'All.  He has directed dozens of plays for the Atlantic Theater Company, Adobe Theater Company, HERE, The Flea, The Present Company, NADA etc.  He has also written several screenplays and recently completed his first short film Anna on the Neck. 

In his spare time, Gary likes to add erroneous information to Wikipedia entries, provide obscenity-laden commentary on parenting blogs and find loopholes in campaign finance laws.  He is also an accomplished chef.  His dish “Champagne Sunrise: Braised Goat Colon and Testes with Saffron Okra” won Second Place honors in the prestigious Saskatchewan Offal Meat Challenge in Moose Jaw, Canada (First Place went to Eric Ripert’s dish “Moose Jaw in Moose Jaw: Roasted Moose Jaw garnished with Locally Grown Moose Vag”, which we both know was total pandering, ERIC).  He was recently given official license by the Ladies Of spurn to use the word “vag”.